Delight

These past two weeks have been loaded. Loaded with everything. I think I have felt just about every emotion there is in the book. From love, joy, hope, excitement, celebration, to wounds deep in my heart, discouragement, and pain.

God has reminded me once again that I don't have it all figured out. I can't control any of it. It's out of my hands and He doesn't need me to do one last bit of anything. Yet, in the brokenness He has reminded me, actually this is the first time that I have truly understood, that being broken, humble, and dependent on my face in the presence of our holy God is where He needs us SO He can use us. I always thought I knew that. I had no idea.

I wonder if He needed me here before He could show me what He truly has for me. I know He needed me here. I hate that I can be so stubborn that He has to take away my greatest joys to sometimes hold me closest. Yet, here He has shown me His love. Our jealous God wants all of us. When He has us closest is then when He can show us what all is in store amidst this great love of His. As I stay close to Him, I pray that He reconciles those things once again. I am sorry for being so stubborn.

Psalm 37:3-7 has been on my lips and heart this week.

"Trust in the Lord and do good; dwell in the land and enjoy safe pasture.
Delight yourself in the Lord and he will give you the desires of your heart.
Commit your way to the Lord; trust in him and he will do this:
He will make your righteousness shine like the dawn, the just of your cause like the noonday sun.
Be still before the Lord and wait patiently for him..."